Real Meaning of Words

School:
A place where Papa Pays and Son Plays.

*********

Life Insurance:
A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die Rich.

*********

Love Affairs:
Something like the game of Cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test match.

*********

Marriage:
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.

*********

Divorce:
Future tense of Marriage.

*********

Tears:
The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.

*********

Lecture:
An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"

*********

Conference:
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

*********

Dictionary:
A place where success comes before work.

*********

Conference Room:
A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.

*********

Classic:
Books, which people praise, but do not read.

*********

Smile:
A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

*********

Office:
A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

*********

Yawn:
The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

*********

Etc.:
A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

*********

Committee:
Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

*********

Experience:
The name men give to their mistakes.

*********

Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

*********

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

*********

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

*********

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

*********

Optimist:
A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

*********

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

*********

Father:
A banker provided by nature.

*********

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest....except that he got caught.

*********

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

*********

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

*********

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you by bills.